If you are in the process of thinking about putting your child up for adoption, one of the questions you may be ask is if you will be willing to participate in an open adoption. This process in which you and the adoptive parents have access to various information and varying degrees of access to each other, is not something that everyone desires to do. It comes with a wide variety of pros and cons. Is it right for you? This is a question that only you and your family can answer, but here are a few things to consider while making your decision.
Open Adoption Comes In Various Forms
When many people think of an open adoption, they often view a very intrusive relationship between the birth and adoptive families but nothing could be further from the truth. All open adoptions are not the same. They may range from complete access to the between the two parties during pre-birth openess to a simple exchange of pictures and limited information during a post-birth adoption.
As a birth mother, you will be able to request the level of contact that you desire, but it also be up to the adoptive family as far as what they agree to. Some families are much more comfortable with an open adoption process than others are.
If you agree to pre-birth openess, be aware that this can sometimes feel a little intrusive. The adoptive parent may want to attend your doctor's appointments, have a lot of questions about you and your family's backgrounds, and more. Try to understand that they are just trying to gather the most information out of this experience as they can.
If you and adoptive family only agree to limited contact post-birth, please respect these boundaries. Be aware that they may change over time. As the child grows and develops, the family may allow the child to decide whether or not they want to continue the relationship with you. If they choose not to because it is confusing or difficult for them, that has to be ok with you also.
Open Adoptions Can Provide A Wealth Of Information
One of the greatest benefits of an open adoption is the wealth of information it can provide for everyone involved. Some of these include:
- Giving you an opportunity to get to know the people who will adopt and raise your child
- Giving the adoptive family the ability to know more about you
- Giving your child the opportunity to ask questions directly to you about why you chose adoption
- Keeping you updated about your child's growth and development
- Providing you updates pertaining to your child's school accomplishments and life achievements
- Providing crucial medical history that could prove to be life-saving
- Keeping your child from searching for you
- Keeping your child from fantasizing about you and your family and more
Open Adoptions Can Build Successful Blended Families
If everyone is able to come together without any hidden agendas and keep the best interest of the child involved first and foremost, open adoption can build very successful blended families. With the child having numerous people who love and support them. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. Jealousy, uncertainty, and manipulation can often come into play during these situations.
Some adoptive parents may feel threatened by you remaining in their lives. They may feel that you will judge or second-guess decisions that they make while they are raising the child. Unfortunately, sometimes this is true. For an open adoption to be successful, it requires much effort on the parts of everyone involved. Just remember, the physical and emotional health of the child is worth all of the hard work and more. For more information, visit websites like http://www.achildsdream.org.